My pin. I was so proud to wear my Omega Phi Alpha membership pin in college. But after a dozen moves in between a handful of states, one day a few years ago, I sadly realized I had lost it. Though after making the difficult decision to leave the sorority in my junior year of college, the pin wasn’t mine to wear anyway.
Fall of 1998 – I set foot in my new home at the University of South Carolina. And as a freshman, I was ready to take all of the classes and try all of the things. Scanning the flyers on the bulletin boards around campus, one organization caught my eye. Omega Phi Alpha. “A service sorority,” it said. I was immediately intrigued. At a large university in the moderately-sized city of Columbia, SC, I was aching for a mini home within my new massive home. I knew I wanted to be a part of something that grounded me amongst the craziness of being a freshman in college.
I attended the first informational meeting by the founding members of the chapter, thinking I’d just bop in and say hello. Even though that was almost 30 years ago, I can still remember the feeling I had when I met the members for the first time – it was like being wrapped up in a hug with a side of the deepest belly laughs. Kindness and warmth filled the room, and everyone felt like a friend. My intention of just “bopping in” was instantly abandoned. I loved how excited the members were to talk about the core values of the organization. How the act of serving brought them all together, and with that came leadership opportunities, inclusiveness, and meaningful friendships. I also loved the diversity of the members. I was sold. And the memory of waking up to a poster plastered next to my dorm room door with, “Omega Phi Alpha loves Stacey!” written on it – my literal sign that I had gotten a bid! – still makes me smile.
Wearing my OPhiA letters made me walk taller around campus. Volunteering and spending time with the other members brought me so much joy. Our meetings brightened my week, and our social events were a blast. One of my favorite memories was spending time with one of the members, who was also my residence hall director, every Sunday night watching “The X-Files.” I was enjoying my time with everyone and looking forward to being a lifelong member.
And then, well, life happened.
My junior year was set to be a hectic one. I had officially declared my major – theatre – which meant evenings and weekends spent in rehearsals and performances. My grades, while always high enough to put me on the dean’s list, needed to stay that way so I could keep my academic scholarship. And I had also been nominated (by my fellow “X-Files” loving OPhiA member!) to be a teaching assistant for our University 101 program. While I was thrilled to be given this honor, it involved creating a curriculum with my professor and additional work added to my regular classes. All of this, plus my wanting to still “try all of the things”…something had to give. So, I sadly decided to step back from OPhiA. There just weren’t enough hours in the day to be the member the sorority deserved. But with the blur that is college, if you had asked me a few years ago if I had left left OPhiA, I couldn’t tell you. I honestly don’t remember what the process of leaving was at that time. Perhaps I blocked that part, the heaviness of it weighing over me.
Fast forward a few (dozen) years…Thanks to social media, I’ve been able to reconnect with many of my fellow U of SC OPhiA members. I found out about the portal and how alumni can sign in and see what’s new. So I tried to sign in – but I wasn’t recognized as a member. Come to find out, I had officially left the sorority completely. I had, in fact, disassociated.
But shortly thereafter, I found out there was hope. There were talks that a new system may be put into place that would allow former members, like myself, to be reinstated!
As a young adult, it was easy to be distracted by too many options. Because you want to try them all, or risk FOMO. And in the process, there’s a tendency to end up a bit lost. Tack on the stress of classes and living on your own for the first time – it’s a lot for a young person.
But you live and learn. I no longer need to do “all the things.” I want to be a part of the things that mean the most to me and that are in alignment with my values. I’ve been a part of some organizations where I was just a number, with no support or long-lasting connections. So I crossed my fingers and toes, as I waited to see if the opportunity to be reinstated into OPhiA – the organization that had been my home away from home – would be a possibility.
During the months I awaited the news, I moved to another city. And as I dug through old boxes of photos and charging cords (so many cords), I found a box I had forgotten about that held a different type of cord – the honor cords I wore at my college graduation. I was so proud to wear those cords, never allowing my grades to slip and holding onto my scholarship. Also in that box was the tassel from my mortarboard, and one more thing…my Omega Phi Alpha pin. Did I see this as a sign? You betcha.
Not long after my incredible (and auspicious) find, I received the good news that there was now a process for former members to be reinstated. I was over the moon!
See – I’m an only child. I don’t know what it’s like to have a sibling. But if I did have one, I’d like to think they would be there for me when I needed them. And if I wandered from the path I was meant to follow, they’d help to steer me back in the right direction. And that’s exactly what the members of OPhiA have done.
The steps to be considered for reinstatement really helped to give me some clarity. Thinking back to where I was in my life in the late 90s and early 00s (shout to the other members from the 1900s!) and how I’ve changed since college, was really eye-opening. I realized my love of service has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. Especially during adulthood.
I’ve lived in countless cities, and have held numerous jobs in a variety of fields – from theatre, to the corporate world in midtown Manhattan, to careers in the wellness community, and my favorite job of being a writer. And through it all, I’ve held onto the building blocks of OPhiA, even though I hadn’t been an official member during the last 20+ years. That foundation of service is what I continue to stand on. From volunteering with community theatres to providing free wellness coaching to doing pro bono work as a writer and editor for new businesses, the desire to help others has always been there.
There wasn’t an option for members to take a sabbatical in college for when someone might need a break, whether they had a heavy course load, or they needed to attend to their physical or mental health, or a plethora of other reasons. But having this option now – to have a process for those who would like to be reinstated post-college – is so gracious.
The warm welcomes I’ve received from members thus far have blown me away. And now that I think about it, I feel like I’m right back in that room in the student union at my first meeting. I can feel the (virtual) hugs. And I can’t wait to get involved again and enjoy those belly laughs with other amazing members, old and new.
I’m so grateful for the creation of the process for reinstatement into this exceptional sorority. I hope others who have left but feel the pull to reconnect will reach out.
And now, excuse me as I finally get back to that darn box of charging cords (which may or may not still be sitting in my closet). But what is no longer sitting in a dusty old box? My OPhiA pin. It’s tucked away safely in my jewelry box. And, wow, does it feel good for both my pin and me to be back where we belong.
Stacey Ostrowski
Chi Chapter
University of South Carolina, Class of 2002